My Fear

We all have fears of some sort, right? Well you all know that I have blogged about my fear of reptiles. Scott and I have been to Mexico several times. We have never been to a resort where there are so many reptiles (mainly lizards and iguanas). The first day I thought it was kind of cool to see these huge iguanas. I wasn't a fan but it made the resort look cool. The resort we stayed at is a 5 star resort. It was very beautiful. Everyone was so nice. The food was fantastic. Well after the first day, I hated turning around to see a bigger iguana than I had a few minutes earlier. Sometimes I wondered if there were as many iguanas as people :) But I was on vacation and it was nice. I could ignore it.

Well, Wednesday night as we were getting ready for bed, I saw a nice large lizard run across our room floor and under our bed! Don't freak out I was thinking to myself. I told Scott to catch it and put it outside. After rearranging all of the furniture, no luck. The lizard was in the bed somewhere. Of-course I could not go to sleep thinking about this thing. We requested a new room and they accommodated. But this is where my ONLY complaint of the resort comes in. The front desk said, "oh Mr. Archer, you want to upgrade rooms, yes?" Scott said no, just the same type of room would be fine. Well all of the sudden, they didn't have any rooms with King beds and told us "it won't hurt you." So knowing my fear, Scott said it would be ok and we would take a double bed room. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. Double beds on vacation. Yes, understand my fear of reptiles. But it just made it that much cozier to share a smaller bed. So we move rooms and all is good. So Thursday night, we are getting ready for bed and what do I see? You guessed it. A lizard climbing on the wall, to the ceiling, back and forth. My heart sank and my stomach dropped. We switched rooms for nothing. They live here and that includes in the bedrooms. And of-course we couldn't catch that one either. So I knew I just had to go to sleep. Scott fell asleep pretty easily while I cuddled up to him (like he was going to save me if it came on the bed) and I prayed myself to sleep. Yes, prayed myself to sleep. "Lord, please don't let the lizard come over here, please don't let it come in the bed, etc." I pray before bed every night anyway but this was a prayer that didn't stop until I fell asleep. See my fear is horrible. I seriously feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Yes I cried and my heart feels like it is pounding out of control. And I was shaking in fear. I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and this didn't help. I don't know why and I can't get over it no matter how much I try to psych myself into thinking, "what is the worst that can happen?"